Honestly I just need to write this out and I don't feel like writing in my personal journal with pen and paper. So sorry in advance for the outpouring of emotions.

It's been over six months since we had our miscarriage and my heart still feels as heavy as it did back in March.

Each month is a new challenge, a new hope, a new let down.

Every time I pick myself up off the floor it's time to start a new and every time I start to feel like things may be turning around it's unwanted news.

I can't express the frustration I feel for having symptoms that make you feel so much pain and sickness only to have it be all for nothing.

This is such a personal experience. It's one that often people hide and don't share with others. But it stinks to constantly have to pretend like everything is okay. To constantly have to pretend like you aren't frustrated and "it will happen when it happens." Oh brother. That's one of the most ridiculous things to feel or try to understand.

Faith.

Faith is what I've had to rely on for several months. Faith is what we will continue to rely on.